are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
