So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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