and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
as a side note pls kill me
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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