if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
