I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Randomize
