love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
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