remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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