I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
