You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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