I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
