I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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