my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
