carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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