You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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