Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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