I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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