I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
