4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
