Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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