i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
