Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
