i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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