hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
