Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
