i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize