Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
