4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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