I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
