it hurts more in the daytime
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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