is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
