Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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