I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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