Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
