Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
