God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
