Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I wish i was in the wii world.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
