btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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