They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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