My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
