Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
