I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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