sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
