At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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