community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
