Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
