what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
