u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
