He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
