best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
