I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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