Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
