I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
