let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
