Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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