I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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