her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
