just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
