what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
