I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
